Couple jokes, ripped from sermons:
On Stewardship: A $50 bill and a $1 bill were to be retired and were reminiscing over their lives. The $50 says, "I've had a good life, the bank first gave me to a couple who took me on a honeymoon to Hawaii, then I was shipped back to LA, traveled to New York and Chicago, I've been in world class restaurants and seen great plays. I'm lucky." The $1 was caught up in the dream and said, "man, you are lucky, my whole life it was just church to church to church..."
On Humility: The pastor of the largest Presbyterian Church in the country, Peachtree Pres. in Atlanta, was asked by his wife one fall day to go outside and rake the leaves. He remarked, "I'm the Senior Pastor at the largest Presbyterian Church in the country and you think I should spend time raking leaves in the yard?" To which she replied "well, you can wear your robe if you want to."
If those weren't funny to you, I think it's because I'm bad at telling them. Or because sermon jokes aren't meant to be funny on paper. They are funny because they provide an outlet for us to laugh at our own pride or excessive thriftiness as we muse over the real implications of the sermon we are hearing.
October 26 being the last post I would have to check my records but this might be the longest drought yet. Again I wish I could say it's because I've been busy, but it's really not. If I’m lucky you all will come up with your own reasons why and forgive them without my knowing.
Last Wednesday (the halfway point between this post and the most recent previous one) I attended a lunch on Clinical Pastoral Education (CPE). Like it sounds this is the portion of seminary education that has to do with ministry in hospitals or other care centers. Even before the lunch meeting this was an intriguing field of ministry for me and now I am more interested. The students who have completed this requirement all say it's something too difficult and they would never do it again. I know if you asked me to work in a hospital today I would fail terribly and embarrass the church, but with training I believe hospital chaplaincy would be a very full and rewarding practice. It is at once a very routine thing moving from one sick person and their family to another and another, but it would also be a very unique chance to interact with people who are very different with many views and experiences to share. And the opportunity for witness is enormous. The downside I see is the fluidity of your "congregation." In a church setting I would be able to know people and families, watch children grow up, counsel marriages, and give eulogies for people I had known for years.
As the semester draws to a close it is evident just how terribly back-loaded the terms are. If the workload of the term were a load distributed in a semi trailer the hitch would lift the duals off the ground. Fifty percent or more of each class will be decided in the next 12 days. Specifically between the 16th and 21st. I can't even think where to begin organizing a schedule that will allow me to grasp the content of the gospels quiz on a Wednesday, prepare three history essays for Thursday, memorize dozens of Greek paradigms for Friday, and complete a 5 pages book report and a 12 page paper by Monday night. There is really no telling what the future holds for my sleep regimen, but what can be sure is just how little of this stuff I will walk away knowing. My guess is, since Greek is the last thing I take, it will be the only thing I substantively remember from the entire term.
Yesterday I played basketball with several faculty members, a few students, and a few local pastors. I was the youngest by 5 years and under the average age by about 15. Regardless, I had the least impact of any player on the court. These guys know how to make cuts, set picks, mark up, and box out rebounds (which were few since they shot about 90%). I know none of that. None. I finished the day with 3 points, 1 assist, 1 rebound, and 5 turnovers (2 because the ceiling in the gym was maybe 15' high - not that that bothered anyone else). Dr. Dawson and Dr. Sunquist were on my team the latter making one of his trademark comments "if you come play twice a week, your grade will improve" which would be funny if I didn't think it was true. He was definitely the least patient of any of them when I made a stupid cut or missed a shot, so I would guess my grade will only improve when my skills do. With the final essay on the 17th, not much chance for that.
Our new president Bill Carl spoke at chapel today (credit him with the second joke at the opening). He was very engaging, he preached on Isaiah 40:28-31 (mount on wings as eagles...), and I enjoyed his illustrations because they came from the South. He spoke about folks he met in Tennessee, the Carolinas, and Texas, which is so refreshing because these northern preachers don't seem to talk about folks they meet in the same way. I can't back that up with any great evidence, but that was my reflection hearing him speak about an aging parishioner who hiked the Smoky Mountains hundreds of times in her life, always with the same pace and the same wonderful appreciation of each step along the path.
If I ever got the chance to talk to Dr. Carl about thin places, I'm sure he'd know exactly what I meant.
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On Stewardship: A $50 bill and a $1 bill were to be retired and were reminiscing over their lives. The $50 says, "I've had a good life, the bank first gave me to a couple who took me on a honeymoon to Hawaii, then I was shipped back to LA, traveled to New York and Chicago, I've been in world class restaurants and seen great plays. I'm lucky." The $1 was caught up in the dream and said, "man, you are lucky, my whole life it was just church to church to church..."
On Humility: The pastor of the largest Presbyterian Church in the country, Peachtree Pres. in Atlanta, was asked by his wife one fall day to go outside and rake the leaves. He remarked, "I'm the Senior Pastor at the largest Presbyterian Church in the country and you think I should spend time raking leaves in the yard?" To which she replied "well, you can wear your robe if you want to."
If those weren't funny to you, I think it's because I'm bad at telling them. Or because sermon jokes aren't meant to be funny on paper. They are funny because they provide an outlet for us to laugh at our own pride or excessive thriftiness as we muse over the real implications of the sermon we are hearing.
October 26 being the last post I would have to check my records but this might be the longest drought yet. Again I wish I could say it's because I've been busy, but it's really not. If I’m lucky you all will come up with your own reasons why and forgive them without my knowing.
Last Wednesday (the halfway point between this post and the most recent previous one) I attended a lunch on Clinical Pastoral Education (CPE). Like it sounds this is the portion of seminary education that has to do with ministry in hospitals or other care centers. Even before the lunch meeting this was an intriguing field of ministry for me and now I am more interested. The students who have completed this requirement all say it's something too difficult and they would never do it again. I know if you asked me to work in a hospital today I would fail terribly and embarrass the church, but with training I believe hospital chaplaincy would be a very full and rewarding practice. It is at once a very routine thing moving from one sick person and their family to another and another, but it would also be a very unique chance to interact with people who are very different with many views and experiences to share. And the opportunity for witness is enormous. The downside I see is the fluidity of your "congregation." In a church setting I would be able to know people and families, watch children grow up, counsel marriages, and give eulogies for people I had known for years.
As the semester draws to a close it is evident just how terribly back-loaded the terms are. If the workload of the term were a load distributed in a semi trailer the hitch would lift the duals off the ground. Fifty percent or more of each class will be decided in the next 12 days. Specifically between the 16th and 21st. I can't even think where to begin organizing a schedule that will allow me to grasp the content of the gospels quiz on a Wednesday, prepare three history essays for Thursday, memorize dozens of Greek paradigms for Friday, and complete a 5 pages book report and a 12 page paper by Monday night. There is really no telling what the future holds for my sleep regimen, but what can be sure is just how little of this stuff I will walk away knowing. My guess is, since Greek is the last thing I take, it will be the only thing I substantively remember from the entire term.
Yesterday I played basketball with several faculty members, a few students, and a few local pastors. I was the youngest by 5 years and under the average age by about 15. Regardless, I had the least impact of any player on the court. These guys know how to make cuts, set picks, mark up, and box out rebounds (which were few since they shot about 90%). I know none of that. None. I finished the day with 3 points, 1 assist, 1 rebound, and 5 turnovers (2 because the ceiling in the gym was maybe 15' high - not that that bothered anyone else). Dr. Dawson and Dr. Sunquist were on my team the latter making one of his trademark comments "if you come play twice a week, your grade will improve" which would be funny if I didn't think it was true. He was definitely the least patient of any of them when I made a stupid cut or missed a shot, so I would guess my grade will only improve when my skills do. With the final essay on the 17th, not much chance for that.
Our new president Bill Carl spoke at chapel today (credit him with the second joke at the opening). He was very engaging, he preached on Isaiah 40:28-31 (mount on wings as eagles...), and I enjoyed his illustrations because they came from the South. He spoke about folks he met in Tennessee, the Carolinas, and Texas, which is so refreshing because these northern preachers don't seem to talk about folks they meet in the same way. I can't back that up with any great evidence, but that was my reflection hearing him speak about an aging parishioner who hiked the Smoky Mountains hundreds of times in her life, always with the same pace and the same wonderful appreciation of each step along the path.
If I ever got the chance to talk to Dr. Carl about thin places, I'm sure he'd know exactly what I meant.
<><
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